January 23, 2010

• 
  The following little story is pure fiction, and the names, characters and locations are figments of my imagination.
  No reference is intended to any person living or dead, although, believe it or believe it not,  all the following names are to be found in the U.K. electoral register. 

  The number of actual occurrences of each name in the UK register are indicated in brackets after each name.
  ** If you wish to check out how many people share your own name, or check if any other bizarre examples actually exist on the UK electoral register, click on the
  following link:-

  www.yournotme.com/
  

  I woke up suddenly, feeling chilly. I’d left the Ida Down (2) off again !
  As I had breakfast reading about the adventures of Dan Dare (1 last year, no longer listed) in my vintage Eagle comic, I thought I might go to the pictures in the afternoon – there was a choice between the new Homer Simpson (1) film, or a Harry Potter (22) movie with a Donald Duck (1 last year, no longer listed) cartoon. The Marjorie Tee (2) of the time, I would probably plump for the movie and the cartoon.
  After I had breakfast, I decided to go for a newspaper, and as I crossed the road I tripped over Arthur Brick (2) lying in the gutter and was narrowly missed by a car with dinted wings. I recognized those wings- the owner was none other than  Albert Ross (37) who was always positively flying along the road.
  As always, I enjoyed the sight of the lovely Rose Bush (7) in the Rose Garden (1) opposite. They always look good when the sky is blue and the Theresa Green (54).
  Eileen Dover (2) the wall to have a sniff at the roses. Magnificent ! I looked at my watch. Crikey- I’d have to Luke Sharp (8) or I’d be running late. Just then, I saw my mate George Cross (108) the road.
  “Now Luke Hare (2) George,” I exclaimed, “it’s ages since you bobbed round to see me. When Hugh Last (1) saw me, you said you’d look at those antiques my Auntie left me to give me some
  Val Hughes “(1 last year, no longer listed, but 346 Valerie Hughes are currently listed).
  “Tony Chance (4) I’ve got to come round is next week,” said George, “I Ben Dover (2) backwards to fit you in, but Ida Lott (1) on my plate this week. My roof was damaged and I had to get a Ruth Slater (37)  to fix it, and to top it all I had a dud ‘phone call from some foreign John Doe (75) who wouldn’t give his name.”
  “It was probably some Paul Little (192) guy working for a call centre in India,” I said, “and he’d get nowhere with a salesman like you- from what I can remember, you could flog a Rick Shaw (2 last year but no longer listed) to a Chinaman or a Ray Gunn (2 last year, no longer listed) to an alien !”
  “Have you seen Albert lately ?” asked George. “You mean Albert Hall (185), I said, feeling in my Lucy Lockett (4) for an Annie Seed (3) ball. The guy whose wife has such a Hugh Jarse (1 last year, no longer listed) ?”
  “That’s him,” replied George, ” The last time I saw her she had this sheer dress on, and I swear I couldn’t see a pantie line anywhere !”
  “You should keep your eyes to yourself, George,” I said, “but I must admit I’m attracted by the sight of a Nicholas Bird (108).
  “Anyway, I’d better be getting on,” said George, “I’ve got to call and see Peter Wheater (1). He’s such a silly billy. Oh, and by the way, Mary Christmas ! (12).

  ** Since originally writing the above last year, I have re-visited the UK register via yournotme.com and found a number of changes since last year. Most of these I have edited into the above story.Quite a few names are no longer so numerous, and some have gone altogether, whilst a couple have become more numerous, presumably because of births and deaths.

  Dear old Ida Lott is still there, and so, I’m pleased to see, is Peter Wheater. Peter attended Sunday School with me over sixty years ago.

  Gone, presumably for good, are Dan Dare, Luke Sharp, Ray Gunn, and the immortal Hugh Jarse. Ben Dovers are down from 70 to just 2, and the George Cross po;ulation has shrunk from 126 to 108.  More numerous are Nicholas Bird with +8, Paul Little with + 9 and, delightfully, Lucy Lockett with +1.

   

  • 7:04 am
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